Subject: Blade Runner 2

Release date: In development

In August 2011, Ridley Scott signed with Alcon to produce and direct a new Blade Runner. This is the conversation between Ridley and Warner Bros. who will distribute the film. 

Ridley: Thanks for seeing me.
Warner Bros: Any time Ridley Scott calls I have time to meet. You’re responsible for some of the greats, Gladiator, Alien, Thelma and Louise…
Ridley: Mind if I smoke?
Warner Bros: Sorry, this building is no smoking.
Ridley: That’s ok, it’s a cigar.
(Ridley lights up a Cuban cigar.)
Ridley: I employ two kids down in Cuba who wrap them for me full time. (Puff) Let’s talk Blade Runner.
Warner: Blade Runner? I love that movie. What about it? A new DVD anniversary edition?
Ridley: We’re going to reboot it. I need Warners to release it.
Warner: You want to reboot one of your own movies?
Ridley: Correct. This time the replicants will look SO real.
Warner: They looked pretty real last time. They were played by real people, so……they looked like real people.
Ridley: This time they’ll look even better, more lifelike.
Warner: I’m sorry, I don’t quite get the logic behind you rebooting one of your own movies. That’s like saying we’ll give you a lot of money for a do-over. If that was the case, why not remake one of your bad movies like Legend or Matchstick Men.
Ridley: Matchstick was huge in France!
Warner Bros: What if directors started coming in here and asking to reboot their own movies? Next thing you know I’ve got Brett Ratner in here asking to remake X-Men: Last Stand, and that was their last stand. Geez…that guy never leaves the commissary…
Ridley: This wouldn’t be a remake.
Warner Bros: So it’s a sequel?
Ridley: Or a prequel. Haven’t decided yet.
Warner Bros: You want to make a sequel to a film that came out 30 years ago?
Ridley: Or a prequel.
Warner Bros: Blade Runner took place in 2019, it’s 2011 now. How could you do a prequel that looks that futuristic?
Ridley: That’s a production design question. I’ll worry about the bigger story arc.
Warner Bros: Will Harrison return?
Ridley: I just told you I focus on the bigger story arc. That’s a casting question.
Warner Bros: The original wasn’t even that big a hit. It made something like $28 million?
Ridley: It was huge on video.
Warner Bros: Exactly, there is no video anymore. It’s all streaming now. Your movie was big on betamax.
Ridley: Should I take it to Fox? They’re doing Prometheus.
Warner Bros: Fox???!!!!! No way! What if it’s a hit? We’ll make the deal, but I’ll need you to insert 3 beauty shots of Mountain Dew in the final cut.
Ridley: And compromise my artistic integrity?
Warner Bros: You are remaking one of your own movies!
Ridley: Two beauty shots.
Warner Bros: Deal.